However, frequent and violent and violent conflicts are certainly not healthy or lasting either. You can have conflicts with your partner constructively, and it can actually bring you closer, according to a 2012 paper by the Society of Personality and Social Psychology. The researchers found that expressing anger to a romantic partner caused short-term discomfort of anger, but also sparked honest conversations that benefited the long-term relationship. Conflicts can be worrisome. If you see it as an opportunity for growth, it can help you get closer and deepen your relationship. Sometimes we argue with our partner about something that is really big and affects our lives — how to pass on children when you want or don`t want children, and where you can live when you graduate. If you feel like you have to sacrifice your beliefs, morals or dreams to make your relationship work, then you should ask yourself if it`s really worth staying in that relationship. For a successful relationship, you and your partner should look at the whole thing on an equal footing. Goals, dreams, values and beliefs are an important part of compatibility with someone. In a healthy relationship, you and your partner can communicate openly about what bothers you and what is going well in the relationship. It is important to talk not only about the problems of the relationship, but also about the positive so that no one feels that they are doing everything wrong. If you feel you can`t talk openly about important things, such as life issues, money, aspirations and the whole image that scares or cares about you, it`s a sign that your relationship can be unhealthy.
If you cannot express your feelings without fear of retaliation from your partner or infuriating them excessively and defensively, then you may be in an abusive relationship. As anyone who was in a romantic relationship knows, disagreements and struggles are inevitable. When two people spend a lot of time together, tangled up in their lives, they occasionally disagree. These disagreements may be large or small, of what is to eat or not completing a job to complete a job to argue about whether the couple is moving for a partner`s career or incentivizing the decision on the religious education of the children. It`s sad, but it`s true. And it took me more than two years to realize that I couldn`t change the way my daughter`s father handled disagreements. No, money can`t buy love, but it could ruin it… Whether it`s disagreements about who pays what, resentment over addiction, financial goals or very different spending habits, money can not only cause struggles in a relationship, but can lead to separations. It is understandable that financial status is a common concern for many people, and a difference in financial values can be a greater moral difference for even strong couples. You see there, I was really happy to see how well we get along. Because we didn`t fight, or even fought. We disagreed.
These 30 specific differences of opinion have in fact appeared in six distinct groups: this is not a communication problem. The truth is that every disagreement puts us in a dead end, so we really can`t communicate at all. Learning how successful couples navigate each of the six parts of the divergence and each of the specific sources of conflict, couples who have difficulty developing more functional and satisfying relationships, will give discernment. When do couples resolve conflicts and reach their agreement? When do couples learn to live with disagreements, to agree, to disagree, or even to appreciate healthy conflicts and differences as necessary parts of a living and breathable relationship? I am a professor of psychology at Albright College. Follow me on Twitter for updates on social psychology, relationships and online behaviours.